Me Cranky?

This has been a morning. I spent 45 minutes laying in bed trying to weasel myself out of going to class, again! Finally got up, walk to the car was eventful, yelled at a driver and slammed their hood as I attempted to walk to my car without getting hit, bastards! Decided that eating chocolate for breakfast would solve all my problems. Yelled at the guy behind me in class because he seemed eager to kick my desk for a hour.

PMS is not a game!!!

Confessions From The East

Unfortunately I will have to delay about the awesome Valentine’s Day that I had to get some things off my chest. I was in Rhode Island/ Massachusetts this weekend to take care of a part of my life I am trying to put behind me. I decided that I would be the bigger person and in person talk to all of my vendors in regards to canceling all of the wedding plans. I had also previously planned on joining CM in Boston this weekend with a few friends. Even though our breakup was recent I still owed it to them to show my face. I was anxiety ridden from the moment I got to the airport. I had to do it though we were a couple for almost four years, it is time that I big the bigger person (I’m always saying that I’ve matured as of late).

All in all it was not a terrible weekend. I got there an hour late and minus my engagement ring. Let’s just say that with a little over six inches of snow on the ground, it my never be found. Not to worry, it was insured for just about any incident under the sun and he didn’t freak when I told him.

I was a wreck being around him again. I was trying my best to just stay calm. I realized just how much I loved him and still do love him. CM became my best friend over the last few years. I owe him so much for the growth of who I am, but at the same time if it wasn’t for that growth we may still be together. There is chaos crept in my mind. Here I am still having feelings for my (very recent) ex and this new guy at the same time (which I am just in awe with at the moment).

So, here it is late Sunday night early Monday morning and I just don’t know what to do with myself at the moment (again). I realize that all in all I need to just look ahead into the future and whatever happens happens. I am just living my life, as ridiculous as it always is.

I'm super elated!

New Guy got the results from his biopsy today and everything is just fine. Cancer free at the moment. This means I should have a great day tomorrow.

I must go now, before the wine starts talking.

Cynic meets Romantic

You know the last guy who tried to romance me did not live to tell the tale. Some time around the first grade I must have had a very traumatic experience with a Valentine because I think up until the age of five I looked forward to the sugar high along with the Jem Valentines. That is simply not the case anymore. I start to see candy hearts and red and hives breakout on my body. I like to spend February 14 at the bar. Specifically one that celebrates being singledom and not the idea of Cupids arrow.

It started Friday. I went out of my way to make it very clear to New Guy that there should be no celebration Wednesday (NOTHING!). He does such a swell job of pretending not to listen to me until Sunday night, when he suggests that we could do something Wednesday, so I ask for options in a multiple choice form, here are my options:

a) long walk and stare longingly into each other
b) He cooks me dinner
c) We eat out
d) Go to a movie
e) Sex (10 hrs, I told him he didn’t have the time. He told me I didn’t have the
stamina).
f) Quite drink (wow, an entire 15 minutes together)
g) Rent a movie (I pointed out that will ultimately lead to sex)
h) H for Hug.

He made it so clear that he was a romantic (ugh). I clearly am not romantic and have no need for such nonsense. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

Cynic for hire

As a self declared cynic on matters of the heart I’ve decided to spend the week focusing on love (in the most cynical of ways). This is purely in honor of Valentine’s Day…enjoy!

Life is Never Short of Madness

Just when I thought my life was becoming more grounded and I was simplifying matters I’ve gone and thrown it into upheaval. I wake up most days and feel as though someone (me) has flipped the dining room table over and now left to pick up the pieces. I’m glad I can say that I have started to pick things up and put them in their place, slowly but surely.

Friday morning I woke up and went to work, I was shocked that no one informed me that it was freezing out and that it was Groundhogs Day. I love how I can be oblivious to the world around me sometimes (always). I did however manage to have a great weekend. I wanted to do something for my new friend (?). I decided I would create a new holiday just in his honor, I made t-shirt, got balloons, cupcakes and we went to dinner. Saturday night I wanted to cuddle, so we cuddled.

I don’t even know where to begin with having a new guy in my life. I mean technically I’ve had men in and out of my life for awhile lately (minus the now ex-fiancé), but now I am officially single I feel that one reason I ended my engagement and relationship was to be single and I may being heading down the road of not being single…again.