Sabotage

For the life of me I can not figure out why I feel the need to self-destruct. I go out of my way to sabotage any and every good thing that comes to me in life. Things with the new guy are going well. I panicked a bit last week, got over it and am now ready to move forward.

Then I did what I always manage to due when I panic. I texted Charlie. I couldn't take it back and just waited to see what the outcome was. Of course he texted me back and was all to eager to take me up on my offer. I don't know what I've done but I'm sure I've made another mistake...again.

Its Just Me

I have noticed something as of late, I am not myself. I do not know what has happened, but I simply chalk it up to being a natural progression of life. Something shaking happened to me this morning and all I could do was fill my pillow with uncontrollable tears. I have not cried like that in almost a year. It was cathartic and much needed. Lucky for me I can always sum my life up (at least to give others a snapshot inside). This one is for you. You dear man who means a lot to me.