signs, scions & such

I have always been a strong believer in signs. They surround us constantly, but most of the time we just don't stop to pay attention to them. Once you do notice them you have to wonder if there good or bad.

"Big D" drives a Scion. Before we started are little tryst I never noticed them. Afterwards everywhere I turn I see one. It seemed like I can't go two blocks from the house without seeing one. Now I see at least one every single day. I know its just a car, but at the same time I think to myself, 'this has to be a sign of some sorts'. The next question I had to ask myself was, 'what kind of sign of this?' Everytime I see one I think about him.

This weekend I really missed him. I haven't had this feeling about anyone in a very longtime. I was sitting outside having a smoke and my heart just ached for him. I just want to see him. I want him to hold me. I want his lips against the nape of my neck, like so many previous weekends.

We did chat briefly tonight and it felt so empty. I almost told him that I don't think we can just be friends. I know when I see him again (if I ever do), it is going to feel so strange. I don't know if there is going to be a warm embrace or not.

Right now all I know is that its sunday night and my heart aches for "Big D".