My Heart Sank

Call me crazy…everybody else does. It started while in class last night, I noticed “my pencil” was gone. There was no need to panic. This is not a class that I take notes in and a pen will suffice for the evening.

This morning once I made it through the fight of getting out of bed. First thing that came to mind was “my pencil” I must find you. Emptied out my bag, nothing, scavenged my office floor and drawers, still, nothing. Then I start to look for “other pencil”.

“Other pencil” was once “my pencil” but it was lost this spring and had to be replaced. I had used “other pencil” for nearly two years (only constant relationship ever for me).

(I’m sure by now you are aware this is no ordinary #2 pencil)

I couldn’t find either one of them. I’m running late as usual, all while telling myself I’m not crazy, but can I make it through the day using a pen? I’m rationalizing with myself. I was an economics major. I spent my college career using a pencil; this is just what I do! Okay, I open another drawer, Starbucks gift cards, Score! Not today though. I finally settle on another pencil, even a pen if I have to. I’m pretty sure I will have a nervous breakdown, but never-the-less, will make it through.

As I make my way to the car I’m thinking about how I will have to make stops all over the city to find the perfect pencil once again to get me through countless crossword puzzles and sudoku puzzles a-like. As I open the door, there it is, “my pencil”. I took a deep breath and was on my way to work. Of course on my way to work, all I could think about is how this post really lays the groundwork for me further exploring the reasons as to why I do not commit (in regards to any and everything).

Stay tuned for more drama from Crazybeautiful and I bet you thought this was going to be about a boy.