Today was just another day. I left work early and joined my mother at her place of employment to help her get something’s organized. It was much needed and well spent day of mindless chatter and laughter (her and I are experts at that).
I have spent the last two days recovering from one good date and one bad date (it’s almost not even worth writing about; it’s one for the vault).
I have also spent the last few days talking to Steve, every night I get a phone call. I just keep listening. Tonight he wanted my advice on what to do about his so-called ex girlfriend. I hope this is not his way of trying to weasel back into my life. My friend Paul warned me that his motives and our recent reconnected friendship is just a bunch of grab and to be extra guarded. I told him today that he was right. Then Steve proceeded to ask me if there was a softer more romantic side to me. I said, no. He asked why, because I’m a bitch I responded. I’ve been hurt so many times that I refuse to be vulnerable again. Then I realized something. This is the same conversation we had 3 years ago when he told me that he loved me and I told him that I was not ready to reciprocate in the same way. I really don’t know what to think.
I keep thinking that this trip that my heart has taken the past 6 months is just making me realize that CM may be the only guy for me and that what I’m looking for I already have right in front of me.
In closing, I really need a few days by myself. I was thinking of taking a retreat a few months ago, but got sidetracked; I think its time for me to make plans and book that cabin far from the city.
I have spent the last two days recovering from one good date and one bad date (it’s almost not even worth writing about; it’s one for the vault).
I have also spent the last few days talking to Steve, every night I get a phone call. I just keep listening. Tonight he wanted my advice on what to do about his so-called ex girlfriend. I hope this is not his way of trying to weasel back into my life. My friend Paul warned me that his motives and our recent reconnected friendship is just a bunch of grab and to be extra guarded. I told him today that he was right. Then Steve proceeded to ask me if there was a softer more romantic side to me. I said, no. He asked why, because I’m a bitch I responded. I’ve been hurt so many times that I refuse to be vulnerable again. Then I realized something. This is the same conversation we had 3 years ago when he told me that he loved me and I told him that I was not ready to reciprocate in the same way. I really don’t know what to think.
I keep thinking that this trip that my heart has taken the past 6 months is just making me realize that CM may be the only guy for me and that what I’m looking for I already have right in front of me.
In closing, I really need a few days by myself. I was thinking of taking a retreat a few months ago, but got sidetracked; I think its time for me to make plans and book that cabin far from the city.
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1 comment:
Funny how that does really work. We search near and far, hither and thither, and those damn keys were in our pocket all the time.
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